Writing Vault

I once asked myself….

Is it better to spend a long time with someone you care about or a short time with someone you love?  

-Jinx Shadylane- 2000

Some long time ago…….


We drove away anticipating much, but for me it’s the measure of your changing energy.

Each glare, each word,  every move steals my mind with a sense of true calm. The ability to allow another person to hike deep into your soul. I close my eyes tight and the sound of the lake moving calms me.

Waters splashing and the wind carrying the scent of a storm.-2012

The darkness builds an adrenaline rush and reminds me of moist skin. The light of the moon under the clouds holding the storm I smell. Genuine sincerity is branded by the bond that is forming on this journey.

-Jinx Shadylane-2013-

REMEMBER WHEN… rain drip

She grabbed his hand and dragged him into the early mornings rain. Their bodies drenched from the chilly drops falling steady from above. Morning air mixing with the scent of a May rain. Their lips together, with each breath filling her lungs, exhaling slowly on the skin of his neck. Eye to eye they touch. All her thoughts race to him. The rain rolling off their bodies dripping.  2000


“Most happy nights lead to happy mornings.”

Jinx Shadylane

The movement of my hands offers my soul. 
I dance within the glow of the stars.
I sing and I scream.
I taste the world as it turns around me
I laugh and I cry.
I live and I die.
I run and I hide.
But I can feel you.
I can feel the breath of my life on 
your skin. 
Krysta Ryan 2000images (6)


Summer 2000

I was in your house today. I sat there it was strange. I walked past your door and it was cracked open. Cluttered and messy like my mind.

I wanted to go in and lay on your floor and smell your clothes to remind me of you. I wanted to rest my head on your flat pillow that is still indented from where your head laid the night before. You will lay there again. Maybe I will be lucky enough to indent your pillow. I lay there my mind all into you yet his hand is on my leg. I wish it was your hand touching me. So I sit and I think to myself…..

To be with him or to try and be with you? I only talked to you one night. I only kissed you one time. I do not know your name yet you are swelling my head with emotions of confusion.sketch of a puzzle piece

So I sit on your bed,

You look at me,

And I think about last night,

Our Love, Our Souls, Our Bodies,

By candle light,

pizap.com14203714547681I sit there, on the end of your bed.

You stare at me.

Our eyes meet and I already know what you are thinking.


Dont talk to me that way. I am just a lonely girl sitting here hoping for love. But I’m not sure that’s what an insomniac needs. Love such a crazy word.

One word can create so much heartache or it can create such happiness. It stops people in their tracks. Powerful the word Love.


“I watched you last night. Watched you breathe and dream. You are such a beautiful creature.” 2001

Wide Open Eye




Insomnia Toxins

December 2014

Pressure persists in my mind. Filling all the areas of the quiet streams with rushing, circular whirlpools. Circling around and around, overflowing into each thought in my head. The new thought causing an intensely emotional and unpredictable feeling. The information is processing at rapid speeds keeping me up all night.

Now morning is here. I can’t concentrate on this thing called sleep. I can;t focus on anything. I am tired and sick from the thought of being tired. Stimuli I gather is entering my brain-mind interface. Triggers are causing the rollercoaster in my brain to speed and de-rail with each turn. A faint static sound is buzzing in my right ear. The pulsating nerves in my eyeballs dances with the noise.  Becoming more prominent. The busy morning rush hour has a distinct sound when my insomnia is in control. Tires make a sound of air echoing as they come to a quick stop at the corner outside my window.

Has my body become infected with toxins of worry?

Bucket List and the Law of Attraction

We have all heard of the law of attraction.  It is the name given to the belief that “like attracts like” and that by focusing on positive or negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.  

The Law of Attraction has been speculated throughout history with skeptics . The Law of Attraction has been popularized in recent years by books and films such as The Secret.  It’s not a new idea, by any means. It’s really just common sense that if you think happy and surround yourself with positive experiences,  your overall outlook will be more influential.  Think negatively and you will possess energies that are bad and unlucky.

Your mental intentions and attitudes draw people and things of like intention and attitude towards you.

I was never a believer in the Laws of Attraction. Possibly because I always had bad luck with endless setbacks in my first 30 years.  A cloud of negativity hovering over my head holding me back from achieving my dreams.

The Bucket List, derived from kick the bucket (to die) + list; hence “list of things to do before you die” is an iconic form of how desires manifest into reality.

So in a drunken stupor, on my 30th Birthday,  I created my Bucket List. Keep in mind this was just for fun.  I was unaware of the Laws of Attraction when I wrote my Bucket List. It was just something fun to do for my 30th. Naturally the list was filled with silly things such as “learn to pee standing up” and “make a corny u-tube video”. I also had serious goals like “go back to school”, “Publish Something”. “Shave my head” and “get all my privates pierced” also somehow ended up on the list.

Of course time passed and I found my list. 1 year later I had completed 7 things on the list. I was shocked. Subconsciously without constant awareness I had started checking off my bucket list.

So had Law of Attraction really worked?

Did Creating my Bucket List help me attract goals I had? Eager to do more with the concept of bucket lists and the laws of attraction, so I asked some friends to create a bucket list in hopes that the Laws of Attraction would work for them.

I give all my positive thoughts to this Bucket List below. In hopes that the Law of Attraction will work for them as it did for me.

bucket list

P and T’s Epic Bucket List  January 24th, 2015

  • prank call Jillian
  • learn about the mandala oblongata
  • see the dead tour
  • festivals
  • get a pet pit
  • win a game of risk
  • ketimine kingpins  in a movie
  • marry models with dreads
  • have a joint bachelor party
  • punch dad or mom in the face
  • bowl a 200
  • get airbrushed t-shirts

Creating a  mental image of what you want helps to visualize the end result of your dreams. The Law of Attraction uses the power of your mind positively. By imagining your goals and desires and radiating the energy that we want.  Like a magnet, the things you desire will come to you.

laws of attraction,bucket list,
laws of attraction

The practice of Law of Attraction has been used for hundreds of years and philosophers in a variety of scientific fields have explored the properties of the Law of Attraction. There seems to still be a large number of skeptics due to lack of scientific evidence in the research.  Skeptical Inquirer magazine criticized the lack of falsifiability and testability of these claims.

Bucket Lists from my personal experience have been a modern way of practicing the theory of Laws of Attraction. So the study begins. The Bucket List started for me as fun, then as my thoughts transpired it became a future desire.

So my study has begun by posting Bucket List’s for people I come in contact with that has heard of the Law of Attraction.

“If you create a Bucket List and tuck it away will it still manifest into our desires?”

So tonight, Rebecca stinsomniacwomanopped by to say ” hello” and was forced to make a Bucket List

Rebbecca”s Bucket List February 9th 2015

  • Surfing
  • Touch a Penguin
  • Ride a dolphin
  • Bungy-Jumping
  • Go to Thailand
  • Learn a different language
  • Drive a Ferrari
  • Eat a Ten Strip
Laws of Attraction Jinx Shadylane
Think only positive thoughts and your desires will manifest.

As I keep building on how powerful the Law of Attraction is in the universe, think of it this way..

When you use the power of creative visualization and affirmations you can make what you write on your Bucket List become reality.  Visualizing a mental image of what you want to achieve and by repeating positive statements which are called affirmations, you create and bring into your life what you visualize in your mind.  I will post more of my friends Bucket Lists in hopes to manifest what they wrote into a reality.

Bucket List of Chris Dizzle February 2015

  • Write a couple of books
  • Spend six months in Europe sight-seeing
  • Retire to a secluded island with a locals bar
  • Die of old age on the same island




I get Paid to “People Watch”

“People Watching” or the act of observing people happens every day all around us.  We watch people as we walk down the street or as we scurry through a busy supermarket.  It is only natural to analyze the body language and expressions on the people’s facial expressions as we encounter  them in life. Often times picking up on idiosyncrasies about the person we are watching. “People Watching” could be considered a hobby to some.


The Security Guard position at the Cincinnati Art Museum basically is being a   “People Watchers.” I get paid to perform a unique set of responsibilities all surrounding the act of “People Watching.”

Many duties as a security guard require quiet observation of the visitors as they view historical relics of art.  Ensuring the safety of the priceless collection of artwork is the most important duty performed as a Security Guard at an Art Museum.  This form of “people watching” is successfully done through patrolling galleries and  making the presence of the security team visible.images (12) This hinders the temptation of guests who want to misbehave. The museum has specific rules regarding photography, food and of course anything that that could damage the pieces.  Artwork that I protect is worth millions of dollars  and are timeless pieces that can not be replaced.Being a visible but silent entity, helps to reduce the amount of incidents regarding damage to the art through the accidental or intentional touching of pieces on display. Museums like the Cincinnati Art Museum acquire, conserve and exhibit extraordinarily rare pieces of art.  Antiquities that can not be replaced for it is an artifact from a historical period of time. While performing my silent observation of art, I will notice a guest touch something.

Army Grunts of the Art World

If this damage occurs it is required to report the incident directly to our conservation team to assess the damage. Touching the art can have lasting impressions and could be permanent.  Due to the natural oils and perspiration produced by skin, small touch can leave discoloration. Various medias are on display in the museum to include stone, textiles, wood, metal and oil paintings. The variation in the materials or medias of art displayed in the galleries creates different effects from the oils on out hands.  Preservation of the art is necessary and will be a valuable learning tool for future generations.

logo art

The Cincinnati Art Museum was founded in 1881 and is one of the oldest art museums in the United States.  The museum holds a comprehensive collection of over 60,000 pieces from various time periods and historical times in art history. The museum has been an art hub for over 100 years with a strong educational influence.300px-Cincinnati_Art_Museum,_Eden_Park

Another duty while I “people watching” is assisting in student tours. The importance of these tours is to enrich the students knowledge and understanding of the art in the museum in conjunction with other teachings in their curriculum. The study of art throughout history is part of cultural heritage in America. Art has a broad spectrum of benefits when explored at deeper levels, that include fine motor skills, understanding of culture, improved emotional skills and enhanced creativity. (Jensen,2001)

student tours Art holds clues to the way life was in the past and gives the observer the opportunity to learn about the culture in which the art was originated.  Depictions of the art and the way the artist tells a story are interpreted and discussed during the tours in the museum.  Students can browse famous icons of art history such as Picasso and Van Gough.  Student tours of all ages wander my galleries each day. The art sparks creativity among the youth and encourages students to make strong bonds with art created in the past to art created in the 21st century.security guard4

The guests at  the Cincinnati Art Museum, that visit have unique types of backgrounds and  a variety of ages. Each individual having a distinct opinion or idea about what their eyes see in the paintings.   Many guests spend a great deal of time analyzing the art.  Spending long pauses, glaring deep into the canvas of each piece of art hanging in the gallery. Often times the visitors have deep conversations in my presence giving me different points of view.

 Although my duty is to remain silent and listen to the conversations., I often find the discussions to be insightful.  When I learned a new perspective from listening to the guests describe the art, I realize the importance of art as an integral way it has captured a person, place, and a  feeling or thought.tour

Protecting the art on display at the Cincinnati Art Museum is a glorified “people watching” position which requires silent observation of visitors. My soul purpose is to ensure the safety of the million dollar collection and to bring responsible viewing of the art. I form a silent bond with the visitors, transforming a relationship of equal respect for the art.  My position as a Security Guard puts “people watching” into action and is a unique job.


CAM, cincinnatiartmuseum.org

Jensen,(2001) Arts with the brain in mind, Alexandria, Association for supervision and curriculum development


Love in Alphabetical


Again, alone awake accidental?
Barely by blunt bricks, brain curtains…
Cut crooked carefully….
Draped dangerously during dusk….
Every emotion enhanced from finger,face & freckle….
Gingerly groping gestures growing gracefully….
Hesitant hands hold hearts hastily….
I imagine important….
Jitters, jetting, jumping….
Knocking knees knowing….
Lucid, lustful longing lips….
Makes more magic memories….
Nocturnal nights necessity never neglects….
Open obsessions of our objectives….
Prevail pleasure pure puzzle piece poison….
Quiet questions quench quarries….
Random, rare, rational realities….
Suggestions so stimulating senses savoring sex, smooth skin….
Timeless tales, the tantric touch….
Ultimately unclothed unknown & unavoidable….
Valuable venom varies vindictively…,
We wait within wind whirls, wondering….
Xenophobia in Xanadu xeroxing….
Your youthful years yearning….
Zestful, zany& zone-free….


Lust in Alphabetical Order


Again, alone awake accidental?
Barely by blunt bricks,brain curtains…
Cut crooked carefully….
Draped dangerously during dusk….
Every emotion enhanced from finger,face & freckle….
Gingerly groping gestures growing gracefully….
Hesitant hands hold hearts hastily….
I imagine important….
Jitters, jetting, jumping….
Knocking knees knowing….
Lucid, lustful longing lips….
Makes more magic memories….
Nocturnal nights necessity never neglects….
Open obsessions of our objectives….
Prevail pleasure pure puzzle piece poison….
Quiet questions quench quarries….
Random, rare, rational realities….
Suggestions so stimulating senses savoring sex, smooth skin….
Timeless tales, the tantric touch….
Ultimately unclothed unknown & unavoidable….
Valuable venom varies vindictively…,
We wait within wind whirls, wondering….
Xenophobia in xanadu xeroxing….
Your youthful years yearning….
Zestful, zany& zone-free….


Tantric lovers are intertwined and connected like a puzzle piece. So much in love that the world stops to envy their kisses.

I am wide awake wishing you would get off work early to ravage me the way you did last night. I starting this page as a running letter to you. This will be my darkest thoughts, my deepest fears and of course my delusional sexual wants. As we grow closer together and I get back on track of my writing and dreaming that one day I will be something to someone.

I want you to know that this blog like many other blogs and websites in the past is a calibration of my life’s writing. It has years of Myself all wrapped up into a small ball of internet links. So lover, please understand each piece you read is not about you. You are my king, my blind sided Valentine, my nightowl poison, my mindfunkjinx and so much more that only my sick mind could describe.

Originally wide awake alone I would write, so I want you to know you are my love. This is my passion. Hopefully one day I will have my thoughts, dreams, inventions, aspirations and goals somewhat together but until then I still remain your insomniac woman forever in love.

I’d never sleep if it meant writing about you.

You inspired me to dream bigger.