The Adjectives in a fight

Lame, Boring, Selfish, Rude…. These are simple words…We learn them early in life through that dreadaed process I always bring up…Socialization. The words we carry mean something, the way we utilize this knowledge is the demon spwan in fights with loved ones. The strongest weapon ever created,  “The Dictionary”…. Its binding contains secrets… A bunch of emotional side notes that each singular word…

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Puzzle Piece

Your ability to be yourself and your motivation is admirable.

You care not what people think but more of what their actions prove.

Overall you have a warm sense of reality, using experience as a guide.

Utilizing each talent to gain, not overly flamboyant but a man who craves power and control, harnesses weakness and manipulates its abilities for the better of those around you.



In Memory of Great People

In life we meet amazing people. Each person teaching us new things, new experiences and new ways to perceive the world.

People leave my world as quickly as they entered only few can understand the companionship that I crave that humans crave,

We learn the definitions of emotions early but how many people have truly felt each emotion.

Love, lust, passion, rage, sadness, heart break, disrespect…


Emotions the basic drive behind actions. Before you speak or use language know that each emotion has a reaction.

Like all humans we are different. So my reaction to this emotion will be different.

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sleep 4

A thought from Wednesday 04/12/2001

The pain, the agony, I run and hide in the shadows of my lies. Untouched I am but heartbroken I feel. The torment of lonely cry’s I have in my heavy heart.

My mountain of lies fill my mouth and the truth seeps from the cracks between my teeth.

The damage so inside of me it shames my thoughts and actions. I am ungrateful to the humans in my world.  I am a fake perfection.

To be the paint that lives in art would freeze the explanation in place and create a memory of what I was.

To dream of you and then wake up with you there is the the most fantastic feeling.

Krysta Ryan




Uncensesored….. unedited..

sleep I AM ON OVERLOAD!!!!!

Well here it is again early in the a.m. and I am wide awake.. Only this time it is a insomniac of a different kind…

So my hump day started off with a alarm after being asleep for maybe 45 minutes and naturally my Grinch 25 helped. I started pacing around in the space like a crazy dungeon child… So I started thinking about my tasks and my creations and my drafts and my non-sleep and I came to the conclusion I should make paper macheia balls.. if that is how you spell that. and then it was time for my lover to get off work. mind you it did not help to cook with magic mushrooms..

So I listened to my man the night before on his wishes to come home to a brunette slut. I was so excited to play slut for a bit. Blah,blah blah. I ended up crazy tripping on Insomnia.

As I sit outside listening to the cars drive by n the distance. I am freaking out because the woods around me seems to have voices and rumbling. A unsettled hour-age of wakefulness  of has come over me. The tactile part of insomnia has come over me. Making my brain swell and my thoughts race so fast I can’t possibly type them. I am loosing my mind deep into the possibilities of my energy into this world.

So I want this to be uncensored so I will RAMBLE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Why do I make a blog or write at all? I am wasting my time with anything on here really, but I use to actually free hand all my writing and thoughts. This is just a way to transcribe anything into the universe before you die. Nothing of any of this content is in order, but fuck I have ADHD and I am an insomniac.


I want 1 person to gain something from me. I will smile if anyone just someone in my path steals my idea or perfects a concept. I guess my brain with out a focus can think of million dollar ideas every second if you brain speeds,


So Million Dollar Ideas someone needs to steal.I want to clarify in person my pitch is very exciting.

As a mother and a camper I am always outside and we are always using bug spray. But what if the bug spray was infused in a dryer sheet. Before you would spend time outside you would dry your clothes, tents blankets, sleeping bags whatever with the infused dryer sheets.

It also is a market angle to mothers of infants under 6 months so you do not have to spray the bug spray on their skin. Girl scouts, Boy scouts, mothers, hunters could all benefit from the product…

So that’s one idea. But wait I have a few more…….

How about a plan for a million dollar project.



Can you find love on Valentine’s Day?


Who would have thought that I could have met my one true Valentine. I stumbled upon your love that cold Valentine weekend in 2014.

Now so tender and real I have ahead full of thoughts. Swarming my brain taunting my mind so vigorously that I can’t rest my eyes. I am cursed with this dreaded cycle. I see no end to the torture of an insomniac woman in lust. I lay here next to you a perfect piece to my puzzle. Fitting so perfectly snug to the place I lost many pieces before. I warned myself

 be careful with illusions of the heart.

Love to me was a dying word that had harsh effects in my world. I longed to feel a single beat from two hearts in need of each other. I craved the connection on levels that only dreamers describe in fairy tales. I often speak of love that seems so far out of reach even to the biggest lovers of them all can’t fathom its capability. I kept on dreaming big and worrying bigger until I found you.

I will be blunt for I know you are scared and love is no hero in your world, so please take my hand and I will guide you to true happiness.It may not be sudden but you will fall, and before the fall is the jump.

If I jump will you follow?

I am too quick to stop before I jump. I never check my safety ropes. I have fallen hard before, alone and managed to cope, but with a fresh heart and a open mind, the love of my life hit me blind.

I quickly learned in no time at all that I had given up on love too quick. I was always the giver and never the receiver. So I quietly admire you for you endless giving and your timeless love. As I learn to except the things I had forgotten about love and build on my dreams of zanidu lovers, I will stay. I will endure your love and learn to establish my new found meaning of love, friendship and puzzle piece connection.

The energy flow from our bodies and the fire we start with our lips comes as no surprise. That cold February morning was quickly warmed with just one kiss. My harsh reality was switched when I feel off my cloud and on to you. My frown suddenly a smile and my world seemed brighter. I am swinging freely now in your arms, carelessly wanting nothing more than to waste time with you.

So as we grow our vines and tangle our branches that I am certain we are bound for lasting memories. Follow my road dear lover for no hurdle is ever to large if we face it together and our new found love will have a fresh meaning.

I may be different but I am one of a kind