Saturday September 20,2014
So my story still so eagerly to unfold, with mounds of written ideas and thoughts from years of insomniac-tic behavior. 32 years old, feeling as if my mind is overloaded with urges from trigger words. The words spoke in conversation among people, either friends, or unknown spectators. These trigger words are some form of irritant bringing up anger, jealousy or completely making you smile and laugh. So for me an insomniac woman with a trigger word can cause serious brain overload.
So, unconcerned with proper grammar or punctuation. I will ramble but clearly for my whole purpose. Well and honestly I can’t”\’t find a speech to text app to download to .http://insomniacwomanwordress.com
So I can’t sleep again and it could be the over whelming notion that I am to much for my own brain to handle. I cant stop circling all my thoughts, dissecting each angle feeling each outcome. It’s torture on my brain. Growing up and slowly realizing my faults, made it easier to manage.
Sleeping was a heavenly dream as I aged. So blah, Coping hasn’t always been easy.
I think, think, think until I am blue. I can’t possibly get all the information out to you or to anyone. I want so much to have a clone to be each one of me I know I can be.
I often ask people I meet “If you can have one thing to help you in life what would it be?
now keep in mind if anyone reading this has ever been in my presence….ummm……well I’v heard I’m to aggressive, rude, forcing people to step outside there comfort zone.
Maybe that’s why I am Alone and Awake. I can’t concentrate on any one topic. I have ideas every 3 seconds.
Touching, Reaching, Understanding
The connection to a memory simplified with a single WORD
20 years ago, at age 13…..
Reflections of my Adolescent Youth….
long before Technology
I had a friend named Pen…
“I aimlessly meander through your cloudy vision of this so-called paradise.”
” That admirable sparkle in your motionless eyes, lingers unchanged and unbroken.”
” I envy your frame of mind about this clutter, so chaotic and exposed to the unrealistic confusion.”
” The superficial tolerance I have for your love, absorbs all my questionable agony.”
” Don’t think I am not fully aware of my feelings. I am too aware.”
” Courage is having the guts to walk in the dark while everyone else walks in the sun.” Unknown
” I am weak, I am lonely, I am scared, but mostly I am waiting.”
” My heart once had a candy coating covering it, but now it’s bare and crumbling in your hand.”
” Some would call me a lucky girl, but I say I am a thankful girl.”
” Slowly rolling up onto my feet, I bend and pick up the thought like sand it slips through my fingers. Seeps into the mound of mixed emotions laying on the floor around me.”
” In unison, we are not. My heart calls out to you. Do you hear it my friend? Do you hear my body talking to you?”
” You are bold and the heavens are jealous of the love we make.”
” One kiss. An illusion, a misinterpretation of a sensation.”
Again, alone awake accidental?
Barely by blunt bricks, brain curtains…
Cut crooked carefully….
Draped dangerously during dusk….
Every emotion enhanced from finger,face & freckle….
Gingerly groping gestures growing gracefully….
Hesitant hands hold hearts hastily….
I imagine important….
Jitters, jetting, jumping….
Knocking knees knowing….
Lucid, lustful longing lips….
Makes more magic memories….
Nocturnal nights necessity never neglects….
Open obsessions of our objectives….
Prevail pleasure pure puzzle piece poison….
Quiet questions quench quarries….
Random, rare, rational realities….
Suggestions so stimulating senses savoring sex, smooth skin….
Timeless tales, the tantric touch….
Ultimately unclothed unknown & unavoidable….
Valuable venom varies vindictively…,
We wait within wind whirls, wondering….
Xenophobia in Xanadu xeroxing….
Your youthful years yearning….
Zestful, zany& zone-free….