Climb

Climb

Climb into my chamber,

of my cold and lonely soul.

Climb into my cluttered cobwebs,

of my dark mind out of control.

Climb into my twisted mind,

Aboard my rollercoaster of love.

Climb into my hot air balloon,

Floating high above.

Climb into my confused bubble,

hiding me from the light.

Climb into my holding hand,

and walk me through the night.

-Jinx Shadylane-

01/10/01


Climb

Climb

Climb into my chamber,

of my cold and lonely soul.

Climb into my cluttered cobwebs,

of my dark mind out of control.

Climb into my twisted mind,

Aboard my rollercoaster of love.

Climb into my hot air balloon,

Floating high above.

Climb into my confused bubble,

hiding me from the light.

Climb into my holding hand,

and walk me through the night.

-Jinx Shadylane-

01/10/01


 

Insomniac Woman Odd Relationship Fights

insomniac

In all relationships couples fight. Experts in relationships point out typical reasons for fighting like money, sex and communication. So odd fights may happen more than I think but to fight about your partners sleep patterns is just pushing limits when arguments happen. The fight goes like this……

49 hours awake I finally crash out. It was like an earthquake when I was laying in bed.  The body tremors and the hallucinations of shadows in my eyesight at the point of collapse.  This sleep was needed and I knew that I had the time to devote to the slumber.

12:00 pm on Wednesday I fell asleep and randomly like always I awoke to eat cereal, smoke a cigarette and somehow manage to make purple cool-aid. So I assumed I got up at least 5 times. A normal thing an Insomniac does “Sleepwalking.”

Thursday I sleep. All day because I know that I have the time to do so. The harsh reality is I work on Friday at 8:55A.M and if I don’t stay asleep now I will wake up and stay up. The vicious cycle of an Insomniac.

9:00pm Thursday you come home and are angry because I am not awake. You want me to come into the room where the T.V. is on and spend time with you.  Your mumbling things like ” You never want to spend time with me. ” and at that point you start to attack my sleep.

“You stay up for 3 days then sleep for 18 hours and you won’t come watch T.V. with me?” He says as I’m laying in bed my mind racing. I hate it when people attack my sleeping or my lack of sleeping. As if I picked this sickness to have.  I am half asleep and now screaming with tears rolling down my face. Head pounding with frustration, but I was awake and that’s what you wanted. I pleaded with you to understand.

I said,” Now that I am awake, my mind will take hours sometimes days to shut off.  When I am asleep, I am not worrying about falling asleep.” It doesn’t matter you’ll be upset when I am awake because I can’t sleep. I will not win.

So I am awake and now you need to sleep. 2 hours after I have been up. As my insomnia repeats itself so will this fight about sleep.  So tomorrow when you wake for work I too will be getting ready for work. On Auto-pilot going through my everyday routine. Only you will look at me and say ” You haven’t slept yet?” in a tone of disapproval.

Only you will look at me and say ” You haven’t slept yet?” in a tone of disapproval.  The same tone as the night before when you said you aren’t going to wake up. Confused about how to please you with my sleep.

Confused about how to please you with my sleep problem. After all, it is my sleep your problem.

Love in Alphabetical

 

Again, alone awake accidental?
Barely by blunt bricks, brain curtains…
Cut crooked carefully….
Draped dangerously during dusk….
Every emotion enhanced from finger,face & freckle….
Gingerly groping gestures growing gracefully….
Hesitant hands hold hearts hastily….
I imagine important….
Jitters, jetting, jumping….
Knocking knees knowing….
Lucid, lustful longing lips….
Makes more magic memories….
Nocturnal nights necessity never neglects….
Open obsessions of our objectives….
Prevail pleasure pure puzzle piece poison….
Quiet questions quench quarries….
Random, rare, rational realities….
Suggestions so stimulating senses savoring sex, smooth skin….
Timeless tales, the tantric touch….
Ultimately unclothed unknown & unavoidable….
Valuable venom varies vindictively…,
We wait within wind whirls, wondering….
Xenophobia in Xanadu xeroxing….
Your youthful years yearning….
Zestful, zany& zone-free….

 

Lust in Alphabetical Order

XANADU2

Again, alone awake accidental?
Barely by blunt bricks,brain curtains…
Cut crooked carefully….
Draped dangerously during dusk….
Every emotion enhanced from finger,face & freckle….
Gingerly groping gestures growing gracefully….
Hesitant hands hold hearts hastily….
I imagine important….
Jitters, jetting, jumping….
Knocking knees knowing….
Lucid, lustful longing lips….
Makes more magic memories….
Nocturnal nights necessity never neglects….
Open obsessions of our objectives….
Prevail pleasure pure puzzle piece poison….
Quiet questions quench quarries….
Random, rare, rational realities….
Suggestions so stimulating senses savoring sex, smooth skin….
Timeless tales, the tantric touch….
Ultimately unclothed unknown & unavoidable….
Valuable venom varies vindictively…,
We wait within wind whirls, wondering….
Xenophobia in xanadu xeroxing….
Your youthful years yearning….
Zestful, zany& zone-free….

image

Tantric lovers are intertwined and connected like a puzzle piece. So much in love that the world stops to envy their kisses.

I am wide awake wishing you would get off work early to ravage me the way you did last night. I starting this page as a running letter to you. This will be my darkest thoughts, my deepest fears and of course my delusional sexual wants. As we grow closer together and I get back on track of my writing and dreaming that one day I will be something to someone.

I want you to know that this blog like many other blogs and websites in the past is a calibration of my life’s writing. It has years of Myself all wrapped up into a small ball of internet links. So lover, please understand each piece you read is not about you. You are my king, my blind sided Valentine, my nightowl poison, my mindfunkjinx and so much more that only my sick mind could describe.

Originally wide awake alone I would write, so I want you to know you are my love. This is my passion. Hopefully one day I will have my thoughts, dreams, inventions, aspirations and goals somewhat together but until then I still remain your insomniac woman forever in love.

I’d never sleep if it meant writing about you.

You inspired me to dream bigger.

https://m.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1489316961316117

seated

In Memory of Great People

In life we meet amazing people. Each person teaching us new things, new experiences and new ways to perceive the world.

People leave my world as quickly as they entered only few can understand the companionship that I crave that humans crave,

We learn the definitions of emotions early but how many people have truly felt each emotion.

Love, lust, passion, rage, sadness, heart break, disrespect…

ALL EMOTIONS, ALL WORDS

Emotions the basic drive behind actions. Before you speak or use language know that each emotion has a reaction.

Like all humans we are different. So my reaction to this emotion will be different.

Pictures provided by:

http://macsstuff.net/photobov/people-holding-hands

http://www.lovethispic.com/image/14113/the-amazing-people-in-your-life

Can you find love on Valentine’s Day?

wpid-wp-1408621011213.jpeg

Who would have thought that I could have met my one true Valentine. I stumbled upon your love that cold Valentine weekend in 2014.

Now so tender and real I have ahead full of thoughts. Swarming my brain taunting my mind so vigorously that I can’t rest my eyes. I am cursed with this dreaded cycle. I see no end to the torture of an insomniac woman in lust. I lay here next to you a perfect piece to my puzzle. Fitting so perfectly snug to the place I lost many pieces before. I warned myself

 be careful with illusions of the heart.

Love to me was a dying word that had harsh effects in my world. I longed to feel a single beat from two hearts in need of each other. I craved the connection on levels that only dreamers describe in fairy tales. I often speak of love that seems so far out of reach even to the biggest lovers of them all can’t fathom its capability. I kept on dreaming big and worrying bigger until I found you.

I will be blunt for I know you are scared and love is no hero in your world, so please take my hand and I will guide you to true happiness.It may not be sudden but you will fall, and before the fall is the jump.

If I jump will you follow?

I am too quick to stop before I jump. I never check my safety ropes. I have fallen hard before, alone and managed to cope, but with a fresh heart and a open mind, the love of my life hit me blind.

I quickly learned in no time at all that I had given up on love too quick. I was always the giver and never the receiver. So I quietly admire you for you endless giving and your timeless love. As I learn to except the things I had forgotten about love and build on my dreams of zanidu lovers, I will stay. I will endure your love and learn to establish my new found meaning of love, friendship and puzzle piece connection.

The energy flow from our bodies and the fire we start with our lips comes as no surprise. That cold February morning was quickly warmed with just one kiss. My harsh reality was switched when I feel off my cloud and on to you. My frown suddenly a smile and my world seemed brighter. I am swinging freely now in your arms, carelessly wanting nothing more than to waste time with you.

So as we grow our vines and tangle our branches that I am certain we are bound for lasting memories. Follow my road dear lover for no hurdle is ever to large if we face it together and our new found love will have a fresh meaning.

I may be different but I am one of a kind